The Tiger Leaves with a Bang

Over a year ago I started The Hotline, thinking I had clever things to say and witty ways to say them. I wrote one article, then realized I really didn't have that much to say, and I wasn't clever or witty enough to just to make clever/witty shit up.

But I have something to blog about now, and I don't have to be clever or witty or try to show how S-A-M-R-T I am. Don't get me wrong - there WILL be clever/witty moments, cause you know, that's just how I roll. But I have new purpose for blogging, one that will help me deal with a new challenge, and a way to keep friends and family up to date and in the loop on my situation.

OK so what's this all about? Well the Year of the Tiger and I never really got along. It should have been a great year since I wasn't working and I declared it the "Summer of Jeannie", with visions of golfing every day and lowering my handicap, relaxing and enjoying life without a care in the world. But the Tiger was in a pissy mood all summer, weather was shitty and I spent most of the summer and fall with a series of colds, coughs and sinus infections. I even lost my sense of smell for several months.

The terrible summer weather went right into the terrible winter weather (yah yah ok, October was nice), and it seemed everyone had their own reasons to kick the Tiger's ass out and get on with 2011.

For me, 2011 meant a new job, a move to the U.S., lots of fun and exciting stuff! Aahh, but the Tiger still lurks around until February... and it was saving the biggest bite for the tail end of its year.

I started my new job January 4th. On January 10th, I went to emergency with really bad abdominal and back pain. They ran a bunch of tests and did a CT scan. They didn't like what they saw, so they scheduled a biopsy for a few days later at the Foothills Hospital. It took over a week for those biopsy results to come back, and during that time my condition worsened very, very quickly. By the time I was scheduled to see the doctor on January 24th, I was immediately admitted to the Tom Baker Cancer Centre, diagnosed with Stage 4 non-Hodgkin Lymphoma. I started chemotherapy the next day. F'n Tiger.

I spent a week in the hospital and was very lucky to have a private room at the end of the hallway. That "lucky" feeling started wearing off quickly though. It's ironic that in many ways, the hospital is exactly where you shouldn't be to feel better! Yes, of course, thank goodness I was finally getting treatment and being monitored and knew if my condition went sideways, I was exactly where I needed to be. The nurses and people who work there are awesome. The care is fantastic and my doctor is amazing. But really, as far as feeling mentally better when you're sick, it's the opposite of "comfort at home with mom's chicken soup".

Ok for $7/day you get TV. That's good. And there's free wireless. That's good. But the wireless doesn't always work. Oh yah, and the TV has no real remote control, just a button on the side of your bed that changes the channel ONLY IN ONE DIRECTION. Ok, whatever. I got bigger things to worry about than the fact I have to cycle through from channel 7 to 95, one channel at a time, to get back to channel 5. Try to keep perspective, Jeannie.

It was not a pleasant week. They pumped me so full of fluids that I swelled up like Michelin Man. So they gave me drugs to get rid of it, which meant going to bathroom, quite literally, about every 3 minutes. Kind of that "too long to just stay in the bathroom" time frame, and just about enough time to walk yourself and your IV stand back to the bed, plug the IV machine back in, slowly get back into the bed, position yourself properly, lie back, and then... oh! gotta go again. Repeat this for about 18 hours.

There were so many drugs. You need to take these, but they make you nauseous, so take these anti-nausea meds, which make you constipated, so take these anti-constipation drugs. Oh, and those drugs will make you not sleep, so here's some sleeping drugs. Aaah yes, the first night with the cocktail of drugs and sleeping pills. I've never hallucinated before - I mean really, totally hallucinated, until that night. My sister-in-law bought me some mini-cupcakes and Wayne had brought a stuffed animal (cat) from home. They were both on the tray beside my bed. I took the sleeping pill, and at some point woke to go to the bathroom.

Much to my surprise, the cupcakes started talking to me. They were actually bickering amongst themselves. Some were telling me to move my IV stand to the other side of the bed. Other cupcakes were saying that was stupid, and I shouldn't do that because the cord won't reach to plug into the wall. The cat got in on the action and told the cupcakes to shut-up and leave me alone, then turned to me and told me to ignore them. I went to the bathroom and when I came back, they were still fighting amongst themselves and some were shouting at me to put the IV stand on the other side. When the nurse came in to take my vitals in the middle of the night, I wasn't totally sure if I had dreamed the whole thing, but sure enough, my IV stand was on the other side and the cord pulled tight to barely plug into the wall. She asked me about it and I just said "I don't know". I figured saying "the cupcakes made me do it" would land me a visit to a different ward that I didn't want to go to. It was a very weird experience and one I don't wish to repeat.

I was very, very happy to leave the hospital, albeit a bit scared because I was still feeling pretty sick.

I have been home for a week now and I feel much, much better.

The plan is that I will get another five treatments, one every three weeks. From now on, I should be just treated as an Out Patient. I'll go in, it'll take about 3 hours for them to get all the drugs into me through an IV, and then I go home. If I judge by how the first treatment went, which was that I felt pretty tired, weak and lousy up until yesterday, then it seems that the pattern will be: get chemo, feel crappy for 7-9 days, feel ok for 12 days, get chemo again. Doesn't sound too bad. One of side-effects of one of the drugs of course is that your hair may fall out. I could do without that. We'll have to see how it goes. I don't look good in hats.

The absolute priority right now is - DO. NOT. GET. AN. INFECTION. The most important type of white blood cells are called neutrohils. They're really the things that fight infection. My neutrophil count is 0.3. The normal/desired range is 2-9. So that's why there's so much caution against infection - I have almost no defenses.

The next most important thing is - EAT. I've lost a lot of weight, and 95 lbs doesn't look good on anyone, not even little Chinese women. I'm trying to eat but it's tough given the lack of appetite.

So that is how the Year of the Tiger left its mark on me. On the days like today where I feel pretty good, this blog will be my way keep my brain from turning to hospital-jello, serve as a journal of sorts, and keep everyone informed on the JoJo Hotline.

Thanks to everyone who already knew about this for their support and well wishes. I am very lucky to have such great family and friends.

I don't like Tigers anymore. And I'm trying not to take it out on Binky.